Find out how to know when you are good enough, it could be know
Why do we sometimes believe we are not good enough for something, like being an author?
Sometimes it can stem from childhood. As a parent, I would have said to my daughters, “You are not strong enough, tall enough”, or especially “old enough” to do something. Although those things may have been accurate at the time, I wonder how helpful those statements are now in helping them believe they are good enough. Indeed, my youngest daughter has thought she would be taller than me for years, constantly measuring herself, and now she is. Having been told she would be, why wouldn’t she believe it?! Of course, just because we think it doesn’t mean it will come true. However, it is far more likely to than when we don’t think it will.
Does that resonate with you?
Can you think of something you heard as a child that is less helpful to you now or is holding you back from sharing your story?
As a child, I loved watching old musical movies. I imagined myself on stage doing all the dance routines. I had a passion for dancing and yet was fearful of taking lessons. What if I wasn’t good enough? So the dream of being a dancer faded until 30+ years later, until 2009 when handed a flyer for local production of South Pacific in St Albans. Watching the show, I became hooked, the boyhood dream stirring up inside me, that old burning ember, flickering as if about to burst into flame. Yet a voice inside me said, ‘You are not good enough to do this,’ although it was something I wanted to do. I shared this thought with my wife after the show.
Sharing your dream and what you want to do is the first step. Choose people who will be supportive and honest, and constructive in their feedback. Make it clear that being supportive doesn’t mean they have to agree or like the idea.
Is that you? Is there something in your heart to do, a piece of writing to share?
However, an inner voice says you are not ready or good enough?
How would you know when you are good enough?
Just one year later, in 2010, I was on that same stage with the same theatre company in Jesus Christ Superstar. How did that happen? How did I change from believing I could not do it to auditioning in less than a year? Well, something happened that helped me break down the lie that I wasn’t good enough. I call it bridging the gap.
When we have a big goal or dream, it can sometimes feel like a chasm between us and the destination. Maybe it feels even further away than it is and harder to achieve. The first step in bridging the gap is finding someone who has already crossed, has done it before, or something similar. For me, in 2009, it was looking at the back of the show programme and seeing a man I recognised. He worked at my children’s nursery school. I thought, ‘If he could do it, then so can I.’ Already I was closer to being on stage than I had been before seeing that photo.
So now we believe that maybe we can do it as someone else already has; they have bridged the gap. Perhaps you are at that stage and wondering how you take the next step?
My next step was starting my NLP (Neurological Linguistic Programming) training. The coaching during that time helped break down the fear that was holding me back and gave me extra tools to help me achieve my goal.
Then an opportunity came along to sign up to be in a play, so I did. I took the next step without fear.
Is there a next step you can take? What is holding you back? If there is, could some coaching help you?
After being in my first play, I had built enough confidence to audition for a principal part in a local production of Jesus Christ Superstar. I didn’t get the role I auditioned for but got other smaller parts in the ensemble. The audition result demonstrated that we need more than just belief. We need to hone our skills as well.
As I was about to go out on the opening night, I remembered when I had told myself just a year ago that I wasn’t good enough, and yet here I was.
So here is a reminder of the steps to help know when you are good enough:
Share the dream – People can only help when they know what you are looking to achieve.
Bridge the gap – Allow yourself to be encouraged by those that have done it already.
Take the next step – Each time you take a step, you get closer to your dream.
Are you up for a challenge, ready to find out that you are good enough?
Firstly, join my Facebook group by clicking here and do step 1, share the dream, share your story or the book you want to create.
